First things first.. confidence is complicated. I can title this post "Five Simple Steps to Self-Confidence" all I want, but gaining confidence comes from practice. It comes from doing things over and over again. It comes from a sense of self-worth and commitment that needs nurturing.
I have found confidence absolutely necessary in sharing my life online, in being able to set and achieve goals, in even the smallest daily activities, in facing my fears.
Sometimes we get confidence confused with loud or successful. They aren't the same. Related? Maybe, but not always. Confidence is something much deeper within us that gives us power to create a life we love.
Confidence is the belief that everything will be okay despite uncertainty. Confidence is the ability to trust yourself to make the right choices without first knowing an outcome.
The five things I've decided to outline here are ACTIONABLE. They are things you can do today to start building your confidence from the outside. Things that will make you feel like SUPERWOMAN. They are a start. Let me clear: you actually have to DO them to find confidence. You can't just kinda-sorta do it and expect results. If you want to transform your life, you have to do the work.
This is the first and most vital element of confidence. It is for many, the most difficult step to overcome. From here, the rest become possible. Without respect and love for yourself, life can be pretty confusing. Without believing that you and your ideas are worth it, they never come to be. Believing in your passion can be daunting with so many other voices out there. A couple of surefire ways to nurture self-love are through mindset practice and self-care. In the Create with Confidence Mini Course, there are complete lessons on these!
2. Connection to Self
There is no better feeling than knowing that you are doing something that is absolutely the right choice for you. When you are feeling uncertain or a lot of self-doubt, it's a definite sign that you are disconnected from your authentic self. Not to get all woo-woo on you, but this is important! Knowing what values are important to you and what you prioritize (on a daily basis and in the long term) connects you to your true desires. When you feel like you know who you are, what you stand for and you realize how that connects to the work you do, anything becomes possible. Suddenly all the outside noise means nothing.
3. Healthy Habits
Healthy you = healthy creator. Bottom line. What habits are important for your health are going to be up to you. We are all different and I couldn't presume to know what will work for your life or circumstances. I can't tell you to wake up early or only eat salad or sit up straight (though I hear those are good things), but what I can offer is the advice to have habits. Have good habits and recognize them. Habits don't have to be just bad ones. Develop rituals for your life that allow you to focus on your dreams. Do things in your life that make you feel GOOD. Mmhmmm! And do them all the time.
If you want to adopt a better habit into your life or get rid of an old one, it will take some time. Habits can take up to THREE MONTHS to stick. To help you, I've created The Habit Builder. Simply color in (or put a sticker on it!) each day to keep yourself accountable.
4. Commitment to Self
In order to feel confident, you can't be wishy-washy. You have to be totally COMMITTED to yourself. You have to be committed to the dream and to your personal fulfillment and success. You have to KEEP DOING the things that make you happy. No one else is going to be as committed to you as you can be. No one is going to care about your dreams or your success like you do. It's up to you. Sometimes we fall off the wagon - that's okay, but please get back on. Don't beat yourself for falling off. Get back on and back to work.
Giving yourself the courtesy of commitment is a way of giving yourself permission to LET YOURSELF LIVE. Commit to your dreams OUT LOUD for the world to hear. Tell people who you are, no matter how scary that seems. Show people what they should know you for. Show people who you are. There's no better way to commit.
Sometimes commitment also comes in the form of investing resources into yourself - time, money, energy. These are all your precious resources. When you give them away, you are investing in yourself or your dream. There's nothing quite like spending money before you've made any to give yourself a swift KICK IN THE PANTS. Or spending HOURS, WEEKS AND MONTHS building something. Trust yourself to spend your resources wisely.
5. Execution of a Plan
There's nothing quite like DOING SOMETHING to give you a boost of confidence. The fact of the matter is that you have to drop any excuses, make a plan, push past fear, and execute. Do what you already know you need to do. When you consistently hit self-imposed deadlines, happy things happen. You can actually FEEL confidence filling your body with all the tingly goodness.
Nobody can make you do the work but you. That's a scary notion, but one I know you can beat.
The previous five steps will prepare you to set goals and achieve them.